My name is Jenny. Furniture is my religion. I read things and watch things and laugh at bad puns. Still semi-ironically holding out hope for a magical adventure of some sort. I know that magic isn’t reel, but as a wise person once said, if you believe in something very hard, it becomes a little less fake.
Bitch of Time, Land of Book Towers and Parkour (partial credz to Sam and Tay.)
I saw Zootopia last night and as I drove home all I could think about was how the hell the police investigated crime that took place in habitats designed for smaller animals.
Like their smallest recruit literally towers over the citizens of the rodent habitat. What the fuck is a polar bear going to do if a vole gets murdered? Forget all of the fine tools needed to dust for prints, does the poor grieving widow vole now have to deal with being homeless because the only way the ZPD could photograph the crime scene was to literally rip her roof off?
I bet you that’s why the mafia is a literal rat pack and a shrew is the most feared crime boss in town. Who else is going to protect your gaggle of little adorable hamster children when your businesshamster husband gets caught cooking the books to try and pay off his hamster gambling debt and some guinea pig bookie comes to literally shake your family down for the cash?
I cannot believe that Hermione did not take advantage of that Rita skeeter’ article that said she was dating harry. I would be like HELL YES BITCHES I FUCKED THE BOY WHO LIVED, THE BOY WHO LIVED IS MY FUCKING SEX TOY! GUESS WHAT? HE ALSO DID DRACO MALFOY, 70% OF THE GRYFFINDOR HOUSE, YOUR SISTER, AND YOU ARE THE NEXT!
she could ask their friends to spread they also fucked harry potter to different prophet’ reporters until gets so ridiculous that it lost all credibility.
“Yes, I did the potter” -Viktor Krum
“Of course, Harry is so lovely” - Fleur Delacour
“I showed to him some nice stuff in the bath” - Cedric Digory (does not like to lie)
“He and Malfoy are often at each other” -Severus Snape and the entire Slytherin house
“At the same time” - Fred and George Weasley
“Harry truly is amazing, he is always gentle with us.” - Luna Lovegood with Neville Longbottom hiding behind her, nodding, mortified.
“Let’s just say that he can ride more than just a broom”- Oliver wood “Let’s just say that he being able to catch the snitch with his mouth was not a coincidence” - Ginerva Weasley.
“He made us gay” - Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas.
Harry does not stop glaring at everyone for the entire school year, meanwhile Ron literally cannot stop laughing
At the end of the year Dumbeldore awards Gryffindor an additional five hundred house points for Harry’s achievements at bedding the entire student body, the other teachers all have their heads in their hands they are working in a ridiculous place of ridiculous people
If you are so committed to being perfectly lawful that you cannot see the value of breaking a law to defend yourself or others, you’re not good, you’re obedient.
tfw you don’t know if it’s social commentary or d&d meta
I’m watching a doc about judy garland and wow gay men love her
fun fact gay men used to refer to themselves as “friends of dorothy” when it was still illegal to be gay because garland was so popular in the queer male community but ONE TIME the NIS was investigating homosexual affairs and they kept coming across the term and they thought there was some mysterious figure, some woman named dorothy, and they were like “we gotta find her and convince her to tell us which members of the navy are gay!” and essentially began a manhunt for dorothy from the wizard of oz
